New Scientist 16 March 2002 p 52
(This is the original version. It was slightly
edited for publication)
I gave up my job to write a textbook on
consciousness. This may sound daft, but my main desire in life is to
struggle with “the greatest mystery left to science”; why do we
experience anything at all? How can millions of objectively existing
neurons produce the subjective experience of being me sitting here
worrying about it? It’s terribly difficult even to think about. And
the best way to learn about a difficult subject must be to write the
textbook. I reckoned it would take two years even without a job, so I
set to work.
The first step was to write the sixty page
synopsis. The second was to respond when Oxford University Press sent
it out to no less than fourteen reviewers, whose comments ranged from
the ecstatic to the insulting. It’s to be a real textbook, aimed at
third year undergraduates; with little boxes, exercises, questions to
test your knowledge, and lots and lots of references. As far as I
know, it will be the first ever on consciousness. There are lots of
books (some say too many) that promote someone’s theory of
consciousness, but no textbooks. After ten years of teaching courses
on this topic I think I have a unique qualification for writing one. I
have no theory of consciousness.
The task is unlike anything I’ve done before.
All my previous books have pushed my own theories; on the paranormal,
or memes. This time I have to explain theories that I think are
completely wrong (which is many) as well as those I think may be half
right. I have to criticise them all without allowing my bias too much
free rein. Yet I cannot avoid all bias because I have to choose what
goes in and what stays out. It’s agonising but I love it.
This life would not suit everyone. It means
strict discipline, sitting alone for days on end, surrounded by books,
reading, thinking, getting confused and writing. But this is all I
want to do. And have I discovered what consciousness is yet? Not at
all, but I’m getting more deeply perplexed.
Susan Blackmore is a writer, lecturer and
broadcaster living in Bristol. “Consciousness: An Introduction”
will be published by Arnold in the UK and Oxford University Press in
the USA, probably in 2003.
