Practice

Do you really know what your own conscious experience is like? Since this is what we are trying to understand in consciousness studies I think it's really important to combine personal investigation  with academic study (though some lecturers disagree!).

Each chapter in the book has an exercise to help you explore your own mind. They are all posted here with some additional comments. First, here's a short section from the introduction that explains how you can use them.

I hope soon to add a Forum where you can discuss your findings with other students.

Putting in the practice (from the introduction)

So what is it like to be you? What are you conscious of now?

Well ... ? Take a look. Go on. I mean it. Take a look and try to answer the question ‘What am I conscious of now?’.

Is there an answer? If there is an answer, you should be able to look and see. You should be able to tell me, or at least see for yourself, what you are conscious of now, and now, and now—what is ‘in’ your stream of consciousness. If there is no answer, then our confusion must be very deep indeed, for it certainly seems as though there must be an answer—that I really am conscious right now, and that I am conscious of some things and not others. If there is no answer then at the very least we ought to be able to understand why it feels as though there is.

So take a look and first decide whether there is an answer or not. Can you do this? My guess is that you will probably decide that there is; that you really are conscious now, and that you are conscious of some things and not others—only it is a bit tricky to see exactly what this is like because it keeps on changing. Every time you look things have moved on. The sound of the hammering outside that you were conscious of a moment ago is still going on but has changed. A bird has just flitted past the window casting a brief shadow across the window sill. Oh, but does that count? By the time you asked the question ‘What am I conscious of now?’, the bird and its shadow had gone and were only memories. But you were conscious of the memories weren’t you? So maybe this does count as ‘what I am conscious of now’ (or, rather, what I was conscious of then).

You will probably find that if you try to answer the first question, many more will pop up. You may find yourself asking ‘How long is ‘now’?’ ‘Was I conscious before I asked the question?’, ‘Who is asking the question?’. Indeed you may have been asking such questions for much of your life. Teenagers commonly ask themselves difficult questions like these and don't find easy answers. Some go on to become scientists or philosophers or meditators, and pursue the questions in their own ways.  Many just give up because they receive no encouragement, or because the task is too difficult. Nevertheless, these are precisely the kinds of questions that matter for studying consciousness. That is why each chapter includes a “practice” task with a question to work on.

I hope these will help you. I have been asking these questions many times a day for about twenty years, often for hours at a stretch. I have also taught courses on the psychology of consciousness for more than ten years, and encouraged my students to practice asking these questions. Over the years I have learned which ones work best, which are too difficult, in which order they can most easily be tackled, and how to help students who get into a muddle with them. I encourage you to work hard at your own inner practice, as well as studying the science.

1. Am I conscious now?

For this first exercise I shall give you more detailed guidance than for future ones. All the rest build on the same foundation, so you should find that if you practice this one frequently all the others will be easier.

The task is simply this.

As many times as you can, every day, ask yourself "Am I conscious now?".

The idea is not to provide an answer - for example 'Yes' - twenty or a hundred times a day, but to begin looking into your own consciousness. When do you answer 'Yes'? and when 'No'? What does your answer mean?

You might like to ask the question and then just hold it for a little while, observing being conscious now. Since this whole book is about consciousness, this exercise is simply intended to get you to look at what consciousness is, as well as to think and argue about it intellectually.

This sounds easy but it is not. Try it and see. After a day of practising, or - if you are working through the book, before you go on to the next chapter - make notes on the following.

How many times did you do the practice?

What happened?

Did you find yourself asking other questions as well? If so, what were they?

Was it difficult to remember to do it? If so why do you think this is?

You may have found that you had intended to do the practice but then forgot. If you need reminding you might try these simple tricks:

Ask the question whenever you hear or read the word 'consciousness'.

Always ask the question when you go to the toilet.

Write the question on stickers and place them around your home or office.

Discuss the practice with a friend. You may help remind each other.

These may help. Even so you may still find that you forget. This is odd because there is no very good excuse. After all, this little practice does not take up valuable time when you could be doing something more useful. It is not like having to write another essay, read another paper, or understand a difficult argument. You can ask the question in the middle of doing any of these things. You can ask it while walking along or waiting for the bus, while washing up or cooking, while cleaning your teeth or listening to music. It takes no time away from anything else you do. You just keep on doing it, pose the question and watch for a moment or two.

You must be interested in consciousness to be reading this book. So why is it so hard just to look at your own consciousness?

Are you conscious now?

2. What is it like being me now?

As many times as you can, every day, ask yourself “What is it like being me now?”. If you practised the previous exercise ‘Am I conscious now?’ you will have got used to remembering the task, and perhaps to opening your mind for a little while to watch your own awareness.

This question is important because so many arguments assume that we know, unproblematically, what our own experience is like; that we know our own qualia directly, and that of course we know what it is like to be ourselves, now. The only way to have an informed opinion on this important point is to look for yourself. What is it really like for you, now?

3. Did I do this consciously?

You might get out of bed, put on a T-shirt, pick up your toothbrush, or carry out any number of small actions. After any of these ask the question.

Does asking the question itself make a difference?

4. Where is this experience?

As many times as you can, every day, ask yourself “Am I conscious now? Where is this experience?”

For example, if you are walking along looking at the street, ask “Am I conscious now?”. Then take whatever it is you seem to be conscious of and ask “Where is it?”. Where are these experienced cars? Where are the sounds I hear? Where is this feeling of anxiety at crossing the street? Does it feel as though things come into consciousness and go out of it again? What does this mean?

Keep a record. How many times did you do this exercise? What happened?

5. Did I direct my attention or was my attention grabbed?

You might begin by asking the question whenever you realise that you are attending to something and don't know why. With practice you may find that you can do it for much of the time. This way you can learn to watch the process and come to appreciate how and when your attention shifts. Make a note of the effect this has on your awareness.

6. How much am I seeing now?

You may be looking at anything at all, from a busy city scene or a beautiful garden, to a piece of text or the back of your own hand. In each case you may at first get the impression that you can see everything at once; that there is an entire, detailed scene in your awareness. Now look again, harder. What are you actually seeing right now?

If you do this a few hundred times you may be in a better position to assess the various theories covered in this chapter. Eventually you may notice some profound changes. Can you describe what has happened?

7.  Who is conscious now?

As many times as you can, every day, ask yourself the familiar question “Am I conscious now?”. You will probably be sure that you are - for example you may be conscious of the road you are walking along, the room around you, or the music you are listening to. Now turn your attention to whoever or whatever is having this experience. This is presumably what Hume was doing when he made his famous realisation about self. Can you see or feel or hear the experiencer, as opposed to the experienced world? At first you will probably be sure that there is an experiencer but it may be difficult to see any further than that. Keep looking. Keep asking “Who is conscious now?”

This is not an easy exercise but it will repay practising over many weeks or months. Try to see whether there is a separation between the experienced and the experiencer, and if so what the experiencer is like. This practice forms the basis of the next two exercises as well.

8. Am I the same ‘me’ as a moment ago?

As many times as you can, every day, ask yourself the familiar question “Am I conscious now?” and then keep watching. As ‘now’ slips away, and things change around you, try to keep steadily watching, and wondering who is watching. Is there some kind of continuity of self as you remain aware? Can you see what that continuity is like? Or is there none?

The question is “Am I the same ‘me’ as I was a moment ago?”. What is really required is not asking (or answering) the question in words, but looking directly into how it seems.

9. Am I doing this?

When you find yourself asking “Am I conscious now?” observe what you are doing and ask yourself “Am I doing this?” . You might be walking, drinking a cup of coffee, or picking up your phone to ring a friend. Whatever it is, ask yourself what caused the action. Did you consciously think about it first? Did your own conscious thoughts cause it to happen? Did it just happen by itself?

You might like to take a short time - say ten minutes - and try to observe the origins of all your actions during that time. In each case ask “Did I do that?”.

10. Where is this pain?

Look out for any pain you may experience this week, whether a pounding headache or a knocked toe. Now look straight into the pain. Experience it as fully as you can. Ask where is this pain?

Odd things can happen when you stare into the face of pain. Make a note of what happens for you.

11. Is this experience unified?

You might like to begin, as usual, by asking “Am I conscious now?” and then explore what you are conscious of, all the time attending to whether the experience is unified. You might try this:- pay attention to your visual experience for a few seconds. Now switch to sounds. You will probably be aware of sounds that have been going on for some time. Has the sight just become unified with the sound? What was going on before? What role does attention play in this? You can do the same with verbal thoughts and sensory experiences. Is your consciousness always unified? Is it now?

12. “Is this phenomenal consciousness, access consciousness, or both?”

As many times as you can, every day, ask yourself “Am I conscious now?”. Stay with that experience for a little while and then ask “Is this phenomenal consciousness, access consciousness, or both?”. You will almost certainly start with a self-reflective state. Can you drop the self-reflection, stop accessing anything for reasoning, inner speech or action, and become purely P-conscious? Does this help you decide whether Block’s distinction is valid or not?

If you can drop inner speech and reasoning, you might like to go on to a further question “Is there more in phenomenal consciousness than can be accessed?” This is a tricky one.

13. Am I conscious now? Does this awareness have a function?

As many times as you can every day, ask yourself “Am I conscious now?”. If you have been practicing you will know that asking this question seems to make you more conscious for a little while. Take this time to watch and wonder. Does my awareness have any function of its own? Would my behaviour be any different without consciousness? If so, is this the kind of difference that natural selection could work on?

14. Is this a meme?

As many times as you can, every day, ask yourself “Am I conscious now?”. Take whatever you were conscious of and ask “is this a meme”. Anything you copied from someone else is a meme, including thoughts in words and imaginary conversations. Anything that is purely your own and not copied is not. How often is your awareness free of memes?

15. What is it like to be that animal?

This practice is rather different from usual. As you go about your daily life look out for other animals and watch what they are doing. They might be pet dogs and cats, farm cows or pigs, or wild birds, squirrels or rabbits. Look out as well for insects, spiders, worms and fish. In each case ask yourself “What is it like to be this cow?” “What is like to be that spider?”. Can you imagine it? What does this mean?

16. Am I a machine?

The idea of this exercise is to watch your own actions and consider them in the light of the ideas presented here. Are you like a simple autonomous robot? Could an artificial machine ever do what you are doing now? If so would the machine feel like you do? You may discover that asking these questions while going about your ordinary life makes you feel more machine-like. What is going on here?

If you find an inner voice protesting “But I am not a machine!” investigate who or what is rebelling against the idea.

17. Is this machine conscious?

This exercise is different from previous ones because it is directed outwards not inwards. Whenever you use a phone, laptop or TV, or depend on air traffic control or satellite navigations systems, ask “Is this machine conscious?”. You can do the same with fridges, cars and electronic games, or indeed anything you like. Explore your own intuitions. Can you discern the reasons why you are more tempted to attribute some inkling of consciousness to some machines rather than others?

18. “What is it that is conscious?”

As many times as you can, every day, ask yourself “Am I conscious now? What is it that is conscious?”

By now you should be used to asking “Am I conscious now?” and finding that you are. Now turn your attention to looking for the thing that is conscious. This time the aim is not to look for the inner experiencing self (as in Chapter 7), but to wonder about the physical substrate. Is it your whole physical body that you feel is conscious? Is it your brain? Is it something that could be downloaded into another machine and still be conscious as you are now? Are you still conscious now? If so, what is still conscious?

19. Was this decision conscious?

Going about your ordinary activities you make countless large and small decisions, from exactly where to put your foot as you walk upstairs, to where to go for your holiday or whether to take that job. But perhaps it might be more accurate to say that your whole body is making decisions rather than that “you” are. Watch these decisions as they happen and for each one that you notice ask yourself “Was this decision conscious?” As you begin to notice more and more decisions being made, what happens? Is it obvious which are made consciously and which unconsciously? Are there certain types of decision that are more often conscious? Does anything happen to your sense of agency? What?

20. Staying awake while falling asleep

The easiest way to explore the borderland between reality and imagination is to hover on the edge of sleep. Do this exercise for a week and you may be rewarded with fascinating hallucinations and insights. The visions and sounds may be frightening for some people, and you should not pursue it if you find it too unpleasant.

Go to bed as usual, lie in your normal position, but then try to keep your mind clear and empty. When any thoughts arise, gently let them go, as you did when practicing meditation. Look into the darkness in front of you and watch for patterns. Listen attentively for sounds. When you see or hear things, or feel odd twitches in your muscles, do not let them startle you but try to stay relaxed and keep watching.

There are two difficulties. The exercise may keep you awake when you want to sleep, or force you to have a clear mind when you would rather indulge in fantasy or worry. I can only suggest that the visions may be worth the loss of sleep, and that in fact you will not take much longer to go to sleep than normal, however it feels.

Alternatively you may find that you drop off to sleep too fast. One suggestion from the Western occult tradition is to lie on your back, holding one lower arm vertical. As you fall asleep the arm drops and wakes you. This way you can oscillate between sleep and waking. In any case, lying on your back makes hypnagogic imagery and sleep paralysis more likely. Like many of these exercises, this one gets rapidly easier with practice.

21. Living without psi

The possibility of ESP is comforting. We might sense when a loved one is in danger, share our deepest feelings with others, or find ourselves guided by a supernatural power. For this exercise, try living without such comfort.

If you believe in psi, or angels, or life after death, or spirits, take this opportunity to live without them. You need not abandon your beliefs for ever. Just set them aside for a few days and see how the world looks when you know you are completely on your own.

Sceptics should do this too. You may be surprised to find yourself willing something to happen even though you know you cannot affect it, or hoping someone will just know when you need them. Ask yourself this. Do we live better or worse for a belief in the paranormal? Don’t give a glib, intellectual answer. Look and see what happens when you try to root it out completely.

22. Is this my normal state of consciousness?

As many times as you can, every day, ask yourself “Is this my normal state of consciousness?”. When you have decided, you might like to ask some other questions. How did you decide ? What is normal about it? Is it always obvious what state you are in, and if so why? If not, what does this tell you about ASCs?

23. Becoming lucid

If you are taking part in the class activity (see Activity 23) try whichever induction technique is assigned to you. Otherwise practice this one.

Take a pen and write a large D on one hand, for Dreaming, and a large A on the other, for Awake. As many times as you can, every day, look at these two letters and ask “Am I awake or am I dreaming?”. If you get thoroughly into the habit of doing this during the day, the habit should carry over into sleep. You may then find yourself looking at your hands in a dream and asking “Am I awake or am I dreaming?”. This is a prelucid dream. All you have to do is answer correctly and you’re lucid.

Did it work? What happened in the dream? What happened to your awareness during the day?

24. What survives?

As many times as you can, every day, take a good look at your own body and ask yourself “When this body is gone, what will remain?” Try to strip away everything that you know will turn to ashes or dust and then imagine or think or feel what might be left.

25. Is there more in your phenomenal consciousness than you can access?

As many times as you can, every day, look into your present experience and ask the following question “Is there more in my phenomenal consciousness than I can access?”

You might like to look out of the window at a complex scene, take it all in consciously and then try to access parts of it, for example by describing to yourself the objects you see, or counting the number of trees or people in the scene. Do you get the sense that when you access some parts of your experience, others disappear or become unavailable?

This exercise may have some strange effects. Try to get used to doing it before you consider the more intellectual question – can this first-person exercise tell us anything useful for a science of consciousness?

26. What is this?

Read the story about Hui Neng and the monk. Think about the question he asked “What is this thing and how did it get here?”. Think about it as applied to the monk, standing there at the monastery after days of walking in the mountains. Think about it as applied to yourself, sitting here, walking there, realising you haven’t thought about the question for half an hour and now standing here. Think about it whatever you are doing. “What is this thing and how did it get here?”. Go on asking the question all the time. The words do not matter. As you carry on practising they will probably fall away until you begin the question and “Wh ….  ?”

27.  Mindfulness

Your last task is to be mindful for a whole day (or forever if you prefer). If possible, choose a day when you will have time on your own, and when you might be walking, doing house work, gardening, or taking part in sports, rather than reading, writing and socialising. Decide that you will stay fully present in every moment and then begin. You must begin with this moment and not think about how well you have done so far, or how long you still have to go. Just attend, fully and clearly, to what is going on now. You will probably find that it seems easy to begin with, and that everything seems bright and clear when you do, but then you will suddenly realise that you have gone off into some train of thought and lost the mindfulness. Do not get cross with yourself but just return to the present moment. That’s all you have to do.

It is very difficult. Don’t get discouraged.

You might like to make notes on how you got on, or discuss the following questions later with friends. What made it harder or easier to maintain mindfulness? Were you ever frightened? Did being mindful interfere with what you were doing? How does this task relate to all the previous ones? Can you imagine committing yourself to being mindful all your life?

What is it like being mindful?

Where now?

If you have done all these exercises over a fairly long period - such as during a whole course - you will probably have realised how they have built up your concentration and attentional skills. You may also have suspected that they are all aspects of training in mindfulness.

I hope you have enjoyed them, even when they are terribly difficult, and that you will appreciate the new skills you have learned.

Has this helped you to understand the problem of consciousness any better?

(I hope to add a Forum where you can discuss all this).

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